But If You're Sage, Then Who's...?
by Marlene Kimaru
Summary: Sage's relative comes to visit, and now Sage is pulling all these really wild pranks. Can the rest of the guys keep their sanity? Did they have sanity to start out with? The last chapter: The truth....
1. Bills, Wake Up Calls, and an Abnormal Sa...

Author's notes: Well, here's my first Ronin Warriors fanfic. Now, I don't own Ronin Warriors, and I don't even own Sage's relative. But this isn't a crossover. You'll see who his relative is soon enough. Hehehe… Well, this is actually an answer to a challenge posted on Dixxy's site. Go there if you want to take a guess at which one…  
  
  
  
But If You're Sage, Then Who's…?  
  
Chapter 1: Bills, Wake Up Calls, and an Abnormal Sage  
  
It all started out perfectly normal. An average day, and average mailman, going up to the average looking home of five average teenagers, a white tiger, a little boy and a collage professor. Ummm… Notice that I said average looking. For what very few people knew, was that the inhabitants of this home had saved the world from an evil demon after mystical armors. Yes, these five boys look normal. Their names are Ryo Sanada, Rowen Hashiba, Kento Rei Faun, Cye Mouri, and Sage Date. Now, anyways, you probably already know about how they saved the world from Talpa, but if you don't, then shame… Go find out. Now, back to the story. The average looking mailman put the average looking mail into the average looking mailbox, and just by counting the number of times I'm saying average, you must know by now that there is something very not average about this mail. You're right.  
  
Sage casually took the mail out of the mailbox and flipped through it while walking to the house. "Bill, bill, bill… Whoa, what's with the perfume on this love letter? Do they want to attract a lovesick moose? Bill… Hello!!!!" He grinned really big at the last letter and set the rest down on the coffee table. He dashed upstairs to read it, not noticing that he nearly ran over each of his four friends along the way.  
  
"What's with Sage?" Cye pondered this aloud. Confused looks and shrugs answered his question.  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, in Sage's room, he had just finished reading the letter. "I can't believe he's coming to visit!!! This is going to be soooooo great!!!! It's been so long since I've seen him…" Sage was acting like as excited as a five year old going to the amusement park. Whatever this was, it was obviously a good thing.  
  
~*~  
  
Later that evening, Sage and Mia were talking about his letter. "Mia, please?! We haven't seen each other in so long!"  
  
Mia smiled. "Ok, my word, I've never seen you in such a good mood!!! This relative of yours must be someone pretty awesome to have this kind of effect on you!"  
  
"Yeah, so, can I also move into the guest room for the week they're visiting?" Sage seemed to be regaining his composure.  
  
Mia sighed, smiling. "All right. But you have to make sure that they know the house rules."  
  
Sage shrugged it off in his normal fashion, "Don't worry about it! I've got it covered! You won't even know he's here!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Ok, tomorrow morning, we're going to have a guest. Sage's relative is coming to visit, and the two of them are going to be staying in the guest room down the hall. I want you to all act civil too whomever they may be." Mia was giving the guys a lecture a week later. Sage had gone out and probably wasn't going to get back in until two in the morning. Apparently, whatever flight the boy's relative was on was a long one.  
  
"No problem Mia! Of course we'll be nice to her! At least I HOPE it's a her…" Everyone sweatdroped as Kento seemed to be daydreaming about a beautiful girl with long blonde hair and a big beautiful smile… We'll stop there, because the author has absolutely no idea as to how a man's mind works. Although she can guess… *shudders*  
  
~*~  
  
The next day, Sage had just gotten out of the shower when Sage got into the shower. Kento stared. He rubbed his eyes, mumbled, "Never let Ryo cook again…" Then he went back to bed in hopes of waking up.  
  
~*~  
  
It was breakfast, and everyone was down at the table, except Sage, his relative, and of course, Rowen. "Hey, Mia," Kento was inquiring, "who's turn is it to wake up Rowen?"  
  
Mia seemed to ponder this, and then pulled out a chart. "Ummm… It seems that it's Sage's turn." She was just about to shout out for Sage when he walked into the room carrying a big pile of clothes.  
  
"Ummm… Sage? What are you doing?" Ryo inquired as Sage placed the pile onto the kitchen floor.  
  
Sage just grinned and replied with a mischievous sparkle in his one visible eye, "Waking up Rowen." He turned around and walked out of the room. They all looked after him with confusion.  
  
Cye went over and looked at the clothes. "My word!!! I'd say that ALL of Rowen's clothes are here!!! His sheets too!!! What's Sage planning?" He looked at the stairs nervously. His fellow Ronins gulped.  
  
~*~  
  
Rowen awoke to the feeling of cold. Very cold. Ice cold. He shivered, opening his eyes. What he saw made him want to kill. Sage had several small Ziploc bags filled with ice and was placing them on top of him. Before he could move or scream or anything, Sage clamped a hand over Rowen's mouth. Grinning, Sage said, "I don't think you noticed, but you're not wearing anything. If you run out of here screaming and trying to kill me, then Mia will see you naked. If you try to get revenge on me for this, I will take all your clothes while you are still asleep and tell Mia that she needs to come up here and see something. So, if you value your modesty, which I know you do, then you won't kill me." Sage unclamped Rowen's mouth and ran from the room before Rowen had a chance to do anything except shiver.  
  
~*~  
  
The rest of the guys had been pondering what was going on when Sage dashed from Rowen's room laughing. A few moments later, a blushing Rowen stuck his head, and only that, out the door. "Umm… Would one of you guys mind bringing me a pair of pants or something? Anything? He took all my clothes…" Everyone's eyes went wide and Ryo picked up the pile of clothes and headed to Rowen's room.  
  
~*~  
  
In the guest room, two people were discussing the occurrence with the utmost enjoyment. "That was hilarious! I would have never thought to do that! And to my best friend no doubt!" Sage was laughing hysterically.  
  
The other person was laughing just as much. "Yeah, tell me about it! I do that all the time to my best friend. Well, kind of. Each time I do something just as different, and just as original. They're actually a lot alike those two…"  
  
~*~  
  
"Hmmm… I think that Sage's relative has a thing for pranks…" Mia was talking with the guys, including a now-dressed-but-still-blushing-Rowen.  
  
He added his opinion. "His relative has a thing for perverted pranks… I was naked remember. NAKED!!! THE INDIGNITY OF IT ALL!!!" By the end of his little speech, Rowen was standing up screaming.  
  
Ryo sweatdroped. "Ummm… I think we get the idea, and the neighbors probably do too…" Rowen sat back down, blushing.  
  
Kento looked nervous, and his next words were enough for all of the Ronins to wish they were being tortured by Talpa, or want to call out for their mommies. "I wonder what those two are planning next…"  
  
  
  
Author's notes: Ok, here's chapter one. If you want to flame me, then just make sure you tell me what I could do better. If you just want to flame me without saying something constructive, then go crawl back under the rock you came from idiot. Because that's obviously what you are. If you aren't even smart enough to say something helpful, then you shouldn't even be reviewing!!! *realizes she is getting into rant mode and clamps hand firmly on her mouth and finishes up* Well, I hope you enjoyed this!!! Now review!!! 


	2. Conversations, Lunch, and a Bad Bag of P...

Chapter 2: Conversations, Lunch, and a Bad Bag of Potato Chips  
  
The two relatives seemed content to stay in their room, planning. They were in there ten minutes before Sage asked his relative, "Are you ready Ji?"  
  
"Ready as I'll ever get Say," 'Ji' replyed, looking at the door nervously.  
  
Sage put his hand on Ji's shoulder, and smiled. "You were always good at this. You'll do fine, just remember what I told you and it'll be perfect." Ji smiled back at Sage and nodded. The two walked out the door to the hall, and began their next prank.  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, the rest of the guys were still discussing the problem of Sage's new pranking habit, when he walked into the room. "Hey guys, what's going on? Something important?"  
  
The rest of the group just looked at him. Then Rowen spoke. "Hey, when are we going to meet this relative of yours?" The rest of them looked at him expectantly.  
  
Sage looked a bit nervous. "Mia, I did tell you that you wouldn't even know he's here, didn't I?"  
  
Kento, who had been munching on a bag of chips, now looked disappointed. "Awww, man! He? I was hoping it would be a girl!!" The rest of the group stared at him for a moment. Then they shook their heads and continued with the conversation and Kento shrugged, and continued with the food.  
  
"Well, yes. You did say that, but I was hoping that we would at least get to meet him," Mia was saying. Kento looked at the door and what he saw made his heart stop. It was only for a moment, but he was CERTAIN he had just seen Sage dash by. He looked back at Sage, who was deeply involved in a conversation with Mia and the other guys. He then looked back at his bag of chips. He stared at them for quite a while, and then started looking for an expiration date. After a few minutes of searching he came up empty handed.  
  
He was interrupted when he heard Yuli ask, "Kento? What are you doing?" It was then that he noticed that everyone was looking at him.  
  
Kento looked up at him, wide eyed, and looking very nervous. "Nothing! Nothing at all! In fact, since I'm doing nothing, then I think I'll do nothing in the other room." He was getting up and slowly backing into the kitchen while waving his hands about nervously. Once he finished saying that, he dashed into the other room away from any more prying eyes.  
  
Sage looked worried. He looked at the others, mumbled something about finding out what was wrong, and then followed Kento into the other room. The others were left to worry.  
  
~*~  
  
Kento threw away the bag of chips and got out a bag of pretzels instead. He also got out some Tums in hopes of doing something about what he was seeing. He ate three. He had another one as soon as he saw Sage enter the room. He looked at his friend nervously. "Hi. Ummm… I'm fine, just a bit edgy… Must have been something I ate…" He expected Sage to make a remark about an elephant or something, but instead, he just nodded. Kento's eyes widened. "Are you alright? I mean, you must not be feeling well to not make a joke about that…"  
  
Sage's visible eye widened, and then quickly returned to normal. "I'm fine. Only 4 hours of sleep will do that to a person. I'll be wittier tomorrow." With that, he left the room.  
  
"Ummm… Oh, kaaayyyyy…" Kento looked really confused as he left the room, leaving the bag of pretzels forgotten on a cabinet.  
  
~*~  
  
Ji walked into the guest room, closing and locking the door behind him. He leaned back onto the door and closing his eyes, let out a huge sigh of relief. "So Ji, how did it go?" He opened his eyes at the sound of Sage's voice, and smiled.  
  
"That gave me ideas Say. That gave me ideas…" Between the two of them, the evil grins would be enough to make Talpa nervous.  
  
~*~  
  
Cye was happily humming a tune as he pulled his bread out of the oven. The bread was the last thing he needed before lunch was ready. After letting it cool for five minutes (he did this while guarding it, and all the other food, from Kento with a frying pan,) he put everything on the table. "Lunch is ready," He called out, already in his chair. In ten seconds, everyone was sitting at the table, except for Sage and his 'relative.' He frowned, and was about to get up when Sage walked in. But instead of going over to the table, he went to the fridge. Cye was very confused, and a little bit hurt. "What are you doing?" He asked this trying to sound normal and keeping any hurt out of his voice.  
  
Sage looked up and shrugged. "We're not that hungry. We wouldn't eat anything at all right now, but I know that you'd worry about us and insist that we eat something, so I'm just going to fix us a couple of sandwiches. Don't worry. We'll have supper with you though…" He shrugged and went on fixing the sandwiches. Cye nodded. No longer feeling hurt, just disappointed.  
  
Kento frowned when taking a bite out of the fresh bread. "Cye? Whatever you put in this bread, you shouldn't do again. It makes it taste bad…" Cye's eyes widened as he ripped a piece of bread and stuck it in his mouth. It tasted WAY too salty. He grimaced. Kento looked at him guiltily. "You didn't do this on purpose, did you?" Cye shook his head in confusion, and forced himself to swallow. He turned when he heard Sage laughing.  
  
"You might want to replace all of the flower in the little container. It's half salt…" Sage had finished making the sandwiches and he walked off laughing. The table was silent with the exception of a few people dropping their forks in shock.  
  
  
  
Ok. This chapter should give you a few more clues as to who Ji actually is. *giggles* I'm enjoying myself… I'm torturing one person in particular and enjoying it to the fullest. Hehehehe…. I hope everyone enjoys this and gives me plenty of advice in their reviews!!! Thanks Wildefyre for the suggestion on cleaning up the formatting. This better? Any more tips you can give? *clamps hand over mouth as she realizes she's babbling again…* I'd better get to writing the next chapter rather than writing author's notes…. Ja ne!!! 


	3. Phone Calls, Nervous Breakdowns, and a N...

Chapter 3: Phone Calls, Nervous Breakdowns, and a Nuclear Rat Infested Toilet Seat Factory  
  
Back in the lair of the blond fiends, a new plot was being stitched together with ease, patience, and expertise. It was a perfect plan, flawless in every way. Poor Kento wouldn't know what hit him… Evil laughter filled the air, two voices that were eerily identical, causing a chill to travel up anyone's spine who may be listening to the strange echoing effect. But fortunately, the only person who was, didn't trust his senses anymore. Kento gulped and took a big drink of a tea that Cye had told him would calm his nerves. He finished it and still heard the haunting laughter. 'Didn't work…' Kento sighed and resigned himself to call a psychiatrist the next day.  
  
~*~  
  
Sage walked into the room with the phone in his hand looking stressed. "Kento, it's some girl for you…"  
  
Kento grinned really big. 'Finally!' He thought, 'Something that makes me think I'm NOT crazy, GIRL!!!!!!' He smiled, took the phone, and trying to sound irresistible, said, "Hello, this is Kento, what's up?"  
  
"Hello, Mr. Kento. I'm Keruri Barunetsutsu, president of the Baron's toilet seat company. I was wondering if I could supply you with…" The voice on the other end prattled on like you would expect any eccentric salesperson to do, but Sage had lied. The voice on the other end of the phone was a male voice with a phony western accent, and was prattling endlessly about toilet seats, of all things. Kento looked at Sage desperately, and Sage just gave him the evil smirk that they were all becoming too familiar with. Kento gave him a death glare, promising a slow and painful death… after he dealt with the phone call.  
  
"Actually…ummm…. Hello? Ermmm…. We don't need…." Kento was obviously trying to appease the salesperson without having to buy anything, but any attempts to even accept would be cut off at this rate. The man on the other end just kept on prattling on about their fine product line of toilet seats.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr. Kento, will you excuse me for a moment? We seem to be having another problem with those darn nuclear rats from the power plant next door in out packaging units." There was about a five second pause, allowing this to sink in, and he was just realizing that the man had actually stopped talking, when he started talking again. "Sorry about that, now it's resolved. Well, thank you for ordering our fine product and you should have it at your doorstep by the end of the day!"  
  
"But I didn't…" But it was too late. The phone was now sounding an annoying dial tone that was nearly as annoying as the salesman's prattle. "But you never even gave me the chance to even order anything…" He shrugged. At least that Keruri didn't know his address. Kento smiled to himself as he looked up. He saw Sage sitting in the living room and went to investigate, when he caught a glimpse of someone closing the guestroom's door. His blood ran cold. It was Sage. He glanced back down at the person sitting on the couch, and barely caught a flash of blond going into the kitchen. "One more time, and I'm putting the Funny-farm on speed dial…." Kento vowed to himself as he went to his room to get some peace, quiet, and perhaps even sanity.  
  
~*~  
  
Half an hour passed without even a peep from the blond menace and his accomplice. Everyone was getting edgy. What were they planning? Everyone, except the two in question, were sitting in the living room waiting for the next move. "You know, as long as we sit here, we're probably safe from the pranks," Rowen stated calmly. Everyone nodded and smiled.  
  
Except Kento. He was freaking out. "Don't jinx it!!!!" The doorbell rang. "You jinxed it!!!"  
  
Everyone rolled their eyes. "Just because the doorbell rang, does not mean that Sage is pulling a prank." Rowen, again. They all nervously went to the door, trying to believe his words, but finding it difficult.  
  
Ryo opened the door nervously, peeking his head around the corner, to see who was there. He blinked. "There's nobody here you guys." He then looked down. "Well, there's a package here for Kento. Kento, did you order something?"  
  
Kento looked nervous. "Well, I didn't order anything, but there was this crazy salesman on the phone earlier and he said that my order would be here by the end of the day… But I DIDN'T order anything! I COULDN'T!!!! I couldn't even get more than two words in at a time!" While he was saying this, he picked up the box and brought it into the living room. He put it down and opened it. Poor Kento's screams reverberated throughout the house. He went to hide behind Cye.  
  
Ryo reached into the box, trying, unsuccessfully, to keep from laughing. He pulled out a toilet seat and a rat. "Is this what you're scared of?"  
  
Kento was shivering from either terror, or perhaps a nervous breakdown. "The salesman from earlier was selling toilet seats and said that the nuclear rats from the power plant next door sometimes got into the packaging unit." Needless to say, Ryo dropped the rat.  
  
Rowen looked VERY nervous. "Nuclear? That thing's NUCLEAR?! Ok… Then how, WHITE BLAZE!!!!!!" Everyone turned to see White Blaze happily slurping up the tail of a rat. Everyone stared. White Blaze stared back. Rowen slapped his forehead. "Great, just what we need. A big nuclear kitty…"  
  
Yuli sniffled, then broke out bawling. "NOOOO WHITE BLAZE!!!! WE ALREADY LOST YOU ONCE, I DON'T WANNA LOOSE YOU AGAIN!!!!" White Blaze was confused when the young one threw himself at him and started bawling like there was no tomorrow. The rat tasted perfectly fine.  
  
Then a mirthful sound pierced the mourning. Laughter. SOMEONE had the nerve to actually be laughing at this situation. They all looked up when they heard that this laughter was a strange, echoing sound. Kento shuddered. It was the same laughter that he had heard earlier. They looked at Sage, who was laughing like there was absolutely nothing wrong. "I can't believe ANYONE could fall for a prank phone call that crazy, Kento, you really need a vacation." Sage yawned. "Ji and I are going to take a nap. We only got 4 hours sleep last night. We're tired." With this, he walked away and the echoing laughter returned. Then something happened that no one ever thought that they would live to see. They had gone through the entire Dynasty wars without ever seeing it before, and none of them even imagined that it could even happen. Also, none of them ever wanted to see it happen again. After facing countless demon soldiers, dark warlords, and the big baddy himself, something really weird happened at this time in front of all of their eyes.  
  
Kento fainted.  
  
*~*  
  
Well, that's it for this chapter. How was it? I think it would have to be my personal favorite so far. Hehehe… So far… I've still got plenty of torture for Kento left, but this one focused on him… Next chapter is going to have one of the two scenes that all his 'hallucinations' have been leading up to. It's going to be good. I hope you all enjoyed that!!! 


	4. Lamps, Naps and Memory Eight

Ok, this chapter has one of the scenes that you've all been waiting for! Well, at least one of the scenes that I've been waiting to write. Well, anyways, I LOVE Kento's 'seeing double' scene in this one. I've had it planned from the beginning!  
  
And now to the story.  
  
Chapter 4: Lamps, Naps, and Memory Eight  
  
Sleep came easily to the two pranksters. Their day had already been filled with exhausting fun, and they still had more to go. Ji locked the door and yawned. Sage merely grunted as he wrestled with the curtains, trying to hide as much light as he could. He may be the warrior of light, but the sun shining in his eyes and attempted sleep just didn't mix. He knew Ji's preferences were the same, so he didn't even bother asking. With a final "mrmph" as a 'Good night,' the two weary relatives lay down in their respective beds, and each fell into a deep sleep only moments after their heads hit the pillows simultaneously.  
  
~*~  
  
Kento groaned as he awakened. His mind was still rather frazzled, and he was hesitant to open his eyes, in fear that he would find all of his insanity to have been real life rather than a dream, as he dearly hoped. Reluctantly, Kento opened his eyes, and groaned again, closing his eyes once again. He was laying on the couch with Cye hovering worriedly in his face. He sighed and looked back up at his best friend. "It's real?" He asked this cautiously and when Cye nodded, Kento again sighed and got up. "I'm going to have a talk with those two, I don't care if they are napping, I'm talking with them." He got up and made his way to the guest bedroom before anyone could object.  
  
~*~  
  
Ji was practically sleepwalking as he left the room to use the restroom. Sage was still happily snoring away in dreamland, oblivious. Ji brought a glass of water into the room and took a drink, spilling it on himself while taking a drink. He didn't seem to care, or even notice for that matter. He put the glass on the shelf between the beds and fell back to sleep within moments of hitting the pillow.  
  
In his consciousness-deprived condition, he had forgotten to lock the door, and Kento easily got into the room. He walked over between the beds, fully intent on waking the both of them up, when he glanced back and forth between the beds and seeing an impossible site. 'Oh, no! Not again!' His thoughts became panicked and disorderly as he rapidly looked back and forth between the two beds, coming close to hyperventilating and fainting. He saw two Sages. They were sleeping in identical positions, only opposites. They both snoozed away happily, completely oblivious to a freaking out Kento.  
  
He left the room trying to look normal. He was barely successful. He casually walked out into the dining room and picked up the phone book, bringing it to his room. A tense, yet accepting smile that screamed 'I'm crazy!' to anyone who looked was plastered to his face. He pulled out his cell phone and looked up a number, then entered it into memory 8 on speed dial. He nodded in satisfaction as he took the phone book downstairs, and went back to his room. He sighed and mumbled, "And now I'm prepared for the next time I see two of him." He lay down and let himself fall asleep.  
  
~*~  
  
Yuli was very happy that the rat wasn't nuclear and that it was just a prank. White Blaze was happy to have gotten a ratty treat. He happily curled up in a corner and stretched a catlike stretch, and yawned a catlike yawn. Yuli was also tired and once White Blaze was situated, he snuggled in close to the tiger and fell asleep. White Blaze purred at the boy and also fell into a deep, comatose catlike state.  
  
~*~  
  
It was 3:00 in the afternoon when the relatives awakened. They took turns in the restroom brushing their teeth, and such. Sage went first, and once he was done, he went downstairs and the site that greeted him made him smile. He saw the napping boy and tiger. But the smile you found on his face was not the kind you would expect at the site. The smile was not a soft one showing affection and friendship, nor was it one of amusement. This smile was devious. In fact, it was FAR more devious than any seen on his face during the whole day. And considering some of the stuff that went on during the day, if you're not scared, then I suggest you use Kento's cell phone. The phone number you need is memory 8. Sage continued grinning this grin as he headed back to the guest room to wait for Ji and prepare for their next move.  
  
~*~  
  
Mia walked into the living room and sighed in exhaustion. She walked over to the couch and plopped down. She jumped back up with a yelp of surprise and slight pain as she reached underneath her and picked up a sharp object that sat in her spot. It was a lamp shard from her grandfather's lamp. The blood drained from her face as she looked around the room seeing more shards everywhere. Finally her eyes came to rest on the obvious culprits. White Blaze and Yuli lay napping in a corner. White Blaze had the shade of the lamp over his head like a hat, and Yuli was holding a soccer ball.  
  
~*~  
  
Kento jumped awake as he heard a scream of rage ring throughout the house. "WHITE BLAZE!!!! OUT!!!! YULI!!!! YOUR ROOM!!!! NOW!!!!" One would not think it possible from the volume of the previous sentences, but somehow, the last word was louder than all the rest. Kento walked over to his door and saw Mia fuming as she began picking up the pieces to something like a lamp or a plate. Kento shrugged, thinking nothing of it. He yawned and went back to bed.  
  
~*~  
  
Sage and Ji were in their room laughing. They were both aware that that was more evil than usual, but they didn't care. They'd take the kid out for ice cream the next day as an apology. It was no biggie. "Man, I'm sure glad we picked up that lamp in town last night before we came home! It sure fooled Mia!" Sage said this as he pulled out the lamp that was supposedly in pieces downstairs.  
  
"Yeah, we're going to have to put this back later on when nobody's in the room." Ji replied looking at his relative with interest. He knew that Sage was already planning their next move and he went over to the closet and pulled out. a bowling ball? Ji frowned in confusion. He became even more confused when Sage pulled out some paint and brushes. Sage just grinned at him and as their newest plan unfolded, Ji's grin grew to match the evil look on Sage's face.  
  
~*~  
  
FF.NET IS CRAZY!!!!!!!! IT'S SOOOOO ANNOYING!!!!!! Oh, well. I'm going to International Youth Convention and Church Camp so I won't be able to be on for a while. *sighs* *shrugs* Oh, well! Now I'll WORK on fanfics rather then spend my time looking for ones to read and checking every ten minutes to see if any of my stories I'm reading have been updated. (Yes, I really do that.) I hope you liked this chapter! I was tired when I wrote it and you can tell. I use more big words and meticulous writing style when I'm tired. The drawback to this is I have trouble typing. What will happen next time? What's with the bowling ball? When will the guys meet Ji? Will Kento use the number he placed on memory eight? Stay tuned!!!! Oish! FF.net is up and I'm at church camp and International Youth Convention. Oh well. I'm back now and it's up so here's the next chapter! 


	5. Soccer Balls, Truths and Straightjackets

Chapter 5: Soccer Balls, Truths and Straightjackets  
  
"Hey!" Cye shouted in annoyance as Ryo kicked the soccer ball into his goal. He glared at Ryo and Ryo grinned. "Ok, I'm gonna get you for that," Cye said, grinning back. They were deep in a soccer game, looser does dishes for a week. So far, Ryo was ahead. Cye frowned and thought grimly to himself, 'Note to self: NEVER ask Ryo to do the dishes for 'just one day.' I'll get stuck doing them for a bloody week!'  
  
"Hey Ryo! Cye! Come here for a moment will ya?" Sage was standing at the door looking casual. Both Ryo and Cye suddenly got very nervous. Here lately, every time Sage was around, there was trouble. BIIIIIIIGGGG trouble. The boys abandoned their soccer game in favor of terror. They walked inside nervously. When they made it into the living room, Mia was puzzling over her lamp which had been sitting on the mantelpiece as if nothing had happened to it. It was almost as if some sort of magic had come through the room and put it back together. She just shook her head and left the room, probably to relent Yuli's punishment. Sage looked at the other two, nervous. "I'm worried about Kento." THIS was not what they had expected. They glanced at each other in stunned silence. Sage, seeing that they were too shocked to say anything continued. "He's been acting nervous and keeps asking me to knock off the pranks and teach him to meditate. MEDITATE! I think he's in serious need of a psychiatrist." (AN: Tell us something we don't know!)  
  
The three boys exchanged grim expressions and Cye was the next person to speak. "Well, I agree, but I think that your pranks may have something to do with it. The guy's under a lot of stress. We should let it be today and talk with him about it tomorrow." The other two nodded.  
  
Sage sighed. "I guess that I should stop the pranks from this moment forward huh?" The other two nodded vigorously. They then went back outside to resume their soccer game.  
  
~*~  
  
Cye casually walked back outside with Ryo. "Well, that went well," Cye said, smiling.  
  
"Yeah, tell me about it," Ryo said cheerfully. "Let's get back to that game now." Cye sighed and nodded and went over to kick the ball into the center of the makeshift field. He kicked the ball..  
  
and yelped in pain, falling to the ground right next to the unmoved soccer ball. "Cye! What happened!? What's wrong with my soccer ball?! Is your foot ok?" Ryo said this as he dashed over to help Cye in getting himself, and the soccer ball, inside.  
  
~*~  
  
The two had made it into the house and both of them were crying. Cye was crying because his toe was broken. Fortunately, with the power of his armor it wouldn't take that long to heal. Ryo, on the other hand, was crying for a much less... reasonable problem.  
  
"My soccer ball! It's too heavy! Who cast this spell?! My poor beloved soccer ball!" Cye rolled his eyes. Ryo helped Cye down to a sitting position on the couch and stood in front of him crying his eyes out about, a soccer ball, of all things.  
  
Suddenly Ryo felt something bounce off his head from the direction of the upstairs banisters. He looked over to where the object would have landed and froze. A smile slowly spread across his face. It was.. his soccer ball!!!!!!! In an instant, he had dropped the ball in his hands and dashed over to pick up the soccer ball. He continued crying, but these tears were tears of joy. But what he failed to notice was that in his joy rush, he had dropped the other soccer ball on Cye's other foot. Poor Cye was whimpering in pain.  
  
Cye reached down and picked up the offensive soccer ball. He noticed it had three holes in it and the color was obviously painted on by an amateur. "Sage! I thought you said that you would stop pulling pranks! I think that switching the soccer ball Ryo's father gave him before he died with a bowling ball would certainly count as a prank!" He shouted this, and then looked up to notice that Sage was standing at the top of the upstairs banister.  
  
"Yes, I did say that from 'this moment on.'" But unfortunately, the prank was already done." He sighed casually and frowned. "I'm sorry Cye. I didn't mean for you to actually hurt yourself with the bowling ball. But now that this is over, then I think that it's time for everyone to meet my relative." They all nodded and Cye wore a faint smile. Ryo and Sage went to gather everyone else up.  
  
~*~  
  
Everyone was excitedly sitting in their seats, trying to sit still, but ending up looking like a bunch of five year olds going to the circus. Even White Blaze was excited. He wanted to thank whoever brought that rat for him to eat! (AN: And now the moment you've all been waiting for!) Sage then walked into the room with a calm smirk on his face. "Lady and gentlemen! Boy and tiger! The person you've all been waiting to meet... Seiji!!!" His voice sounded like he was announcing for the circus and as he pointed to a door across the room he received a stunned silence. In walked Sage. Everyone in the room looked back at Sage who was still standing at the opposite end of the room looking smug. They all looked at the other end of the room where Sage was standing with the same expression. They continued looking back and forth and even the tiger was confused.  
  
Everyone was looking back and forth except for Kento. He casually pulled out his cell phone and dialed memory eight wearing a stupid, and amazingly calm grin. "Hello! Yes, I have someone you need to pick up. Yes. . Right, I understand. Uh huh. All right, just ask for Kento. Yeah, that's the one. Right. Thanks, bye!" He turned off his cell phone and casually placed it in his pocket. "Hey, guys! I'm expecting someone so if anyone comes looking for me, then take them to me."  
  
The back and forth staring contest continued and finally Rowen broke the silence. "Ok, what's going on exactly?"  
  
The second Sage, or rather, Seiji, smiled at him and told him, "It's simple really, we're twins! Isn't that right Say?"  
  
The first Sage, the one they all knew, smiled back at his brother. "That's right Ji! *sigh* Too bad that this had to end so soon. I was enjoying that."  
  
"I KNOW! You remember the first conversation I had with these guys though? I thought I was going to die! And when Kento went into the kitchen with that bag of potato chips I thought that we would be discovered for sure! But it's a good thing you finished with that flour before he went in there! And the ideas that conversation gave me for our next prank were great!" Ji was obviously enjoying himself at confusing everyone.  
  
"Yeah, and that phone call was so much fun to do! You should have heard Kento! It was hilarious!" Sage replied. Obviously getting in on the action.  
  
Cye decided to interrupt this family moment in hopes of regaining some of his sanity. "So, Sage put the salt in the flour?" The two nodded. "And, Seiji was the one we were talking to then?" They nodded again.  
  
"Wow! I thought he looked edgy, but I had no idea," Ryo said.  
  
Cye resumed his rant, his increasing anger becoming increasingly obvious. "Now, if both of you were in on this, I just want to know one thing," Cye's cold anger was beginning to frighten the two, they knew he would soon blow his top, and they were right. "Which one of you _had the idea TO PAINT A BOWLING BALL LIKE A SOCCER BALL AND HAVE RYO DROP IT ON MY FOOT!!!????!?!?!!"  
  
Everyone in the room flinched. The doorbell rang. Everyone glared at the two blonds who were now panicking. "We're both right here! Neither of us could have rang the doorbell! Why are you all glaring at us because of the doorbell?!" Sage had decided to stand up for the two of them, and everyone nodded and began to make their way to the door.  
  
When Ryo opened the door, there were three strong looking men wearing white coats. Everyone blinked. "We got a call, is there a Kento living here?" Everyone nodded and pointed to Kento, who just smiled.  
  
"My ride's here? Cool. Well, it was great knowing you guys, Ryo, Cye, Rowen, Mia, Yuli, White Blaze, Sage, figment-of-my-crazy-mind-named-Seiji! Great knowing you all!" As Kento was making his speech he walked around the room either shaking people's hands or rubbing creatures heads.  
  
When he got to the last three in his farewells, the three men were in far enough to see who he was saying goodbye too. They all froze dead in their tracks. They all three looked like they saw a ghost. Never taking their eyes off the tiger and the two identical people they got out their straightjackets and started helping each other put them on. "Hey, those are for me!" Kento seemed insulted and started chasing them around the room trying to get a straightjacket from them.  
  
~*~  
  
After several hours and a lot of explaining, they had finally convinced the four men that nobody here was crazy. The three men from the funny farm went back empty handed with a story that would probably get THEM committed. At this point nobody cared. I mean, would YOU care if it were 1 in the morning? Everyone went to bed a little less confused, but still extremely exhausted.  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, it was hoped that everything would return to normal. So far, it was. Cye was cooking, Mia was cleaning, Yuli was sitting and yawning, Sage and Seiji were both meditating in the living room, making it a bit unnerving to walk through, Ryo was practicing his soccer, Rowen was still sleeping, and Kento probably was too, and who knew what that tiger was doing.  
  
Sage got up, saying that he was going to take a shower. He met Kento at the bottom of the stairs who was whistling to himself. He was obviously pleased with something, but nobody knew what. Time passed and breakfast was served and a scream was heard from the shower. An ear piercing, gut wrenching scream filled with fury. Sage dashed down the stairs in his bath robe only to be met with stares. His hair was pink. Not just any pink either, a bright, cotton candy pink. "WHO DID THIS?!?!?!?!" Kento broke down laughing, followed closely by everyone else. Except for Seiji who had fainted after mumbling painfully about his poor brother. Sage's visible eye narrowed with cold fury as he walked over to Kento. "You." He said nothing else as he grabbed Kento's collar.  
  
Kento just grinned. "Well, I was bored, and I thought that since you nearly gave me a change of address, that I should give you something in return. I thought a change of hair color would be nice. Also, since the change of address would have been a bit wild, then the hair color should match. What do you think? Too dull? Should I have gotten something in a nice deep violet?" Kento's death wish was just getting bigger. Sage screamed his fury and began to chase after Kento. Kento laughed, pleased at his revenge. Seiji was still unconscious, and everyone else was staying out of the way.  
  
Rowen seemed to be in deep thought though. 'Hmmm.. This reminds me of myself and my cousin.'  
  
The End  
  
  
  
  
  
...?  
  
  
  
Ok, that was fun to write! For those of you who guessed it, get yourself an ice cream, my compliments! And for those of you asking about the little question mark at the end, then I suppose that you should just try to figure that out for yourselves for now! *evil laughter* This has been fun, and it will be fun! Anyone for some more constructive criticism? I actually smile at the stuff! I smiled really big at my first review on this story, believe it or not! 


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